I'm at a loss for good content as of late. Other than social commentary on the welfare state, Lisa Calderon, or baby diapers in the dumpster (none of which would be positive), all I've got is pimping local biz that I love.
I'm sitting right now at the Walnut Room, the coolest place within stumbling distance of our house, doing homework and drinking a tasty martini. Colians, have you checked this place out yet? Best happy hour in our area by far. Best sandwiches and pizza in our area by far. Cool staff and people. Good (non Latino) music. Live music even. Wonderful patio. Need I say more?
If you stop in as a result of reading this ask Bobby, Kristin, or one of the other friendly staffers to put something up on the "future's" board for the white devil at CNM so I know you gave it a try. Plus I need free drinks. You know as much as I do how much we're all paying for our tiny old houses in the 'hood.
You'll like it, I guarantee. If you don't, I'll paint over the graffiti on your dumpsters free for a year. Honest.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Friday, July 02, 2010
Sometimes I Feel Like The Only One Trying To Gentrify This Neighborhood
I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, but here it is again. Absolutely hilarious writing.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Who says everyone loves the Rockies in Cole?
Kudos to a resident of Cole for passing this photo along. Apparently there are some Chicago gang member transplants out here in Cole, reminiscing about their home in the Windy City.
I'd provide her credit for it but I tend to get in trouble for mentioning names/handles/initials so I'll wait for her to let me know if she wants props for it. This is of course the vacant lot at Bruce Randolph and Humboldt (where a mixed-income housing development is supposed to be going in). These dumpsters, with their eastward-facing exposure along BR are prime real estate for the taggers. Hmm.... with that in mind someone should put a billboard there. Perhaps advertising birth control, GED programs, or perhaps one of the bail bondsmen on Downing? Heck, who am I kidding. At this point NPR, Starbucks, Heineken, Kendall Jackson Winery, and Golf TV should be advertising in Cole.
Gotta give these thugs some props for at least putting a little artistic effort in. Wonder if they're Juan Uribe fans, or perhaps Mark Buehrle? Go Sox!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
RIP George Nissen, The Inventor Of Trampolines
Did anyone else catch that George Nissen, the inventor of the trampoline died last week? I've always wondered what legacy I'll leave when I'm gone. What was George Nissen's legacy? Well, for starters, eighty years and thousands of kids with head injuries, broken arms and broken legs. E.R. docs and orthopedic surgeons owe so much of their livelihood to Mr. Nissen.
George Nissen's invention has even more meaning in Cole. I mean, what else would Colians put in their ten-by-ten yard other than a ten-foot diameter trampoline? It serves so many purposes: First of all, it just looks bitchin' in your front yard. Second, it keeps the ninos busy for hours in between visits from the paleta cart. But it also gives you something to tie your chihuahua to. Not to mention providing him a little shade when you leave him out in your front yard for 10 hours on a hot summer day.
But the trampoline is most important to Cole in being the precursor to the jumping castle, an integral part of any child's or family's fiesta in Cole. Yes, spring and summer are coming, and it won't be long before the melodic chirping of birds will be accompanied by the pleasing machine-gun cadence of air compressors and blaring, distorted latin music. I can picture the skyline of Cole now, being sporadically and briefly altered this summer by slowly-inflating jumping castles, rising like a phoenix over back fences all across the neighborhood. The only thing better than a jumping castle or a trampoline? Both, of course.
And we truly have one man to thank: George Nissan. God rest in peace.
George Nissen's invention has even more meaning in Cole. I mean, what else would Colians put in their ten-by-ten yard other than a ten-foot diameter trampoline? It serves so many purposes: First of all, it just looks bitchin' in your front yard. Second, it keeps the ninos busy for hours in between visits from the paleta cart. But it also gives you something to tie your chihuahua to. Not to mention providing him a little shade when you leave him out in your front yard for 10 hours on a hot summer day.
But the trampoline is most important to Cole in being the precursor to the jumping castle, an integral part of any child's or family's fiesta in Cole. Yes, spring and summer are coming, and it won't be long before the melodic chirping of birds will be accompanied by the pleasing machine-gun cadence of air compressors and blaring, distorted latin music. I can picture the skyline of Cole now, being sporadically and briefly altered this summer by slowly-inflating jumping castles, rising like a phoenix over back fences all across the neighborhood. The only thing better than a jumping castle or a trampoline? Both, of course.
And we truly have one man to thank: George Nissan. God rest in peace.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Welcome to Cole: Jezebel's Juke Joint and Brothel
So I rushed right over to the former Marco's place at 39th and High Street, to find Jezebel's Juke Joint and Brothel.
I almost fell out of my car I was so stunned. I rushed inside, soaking wet and muddy, to get a glimpse. I was greeted warmly by a man and woman (the owners, I'm guessing) and a cute little pit puppy named Diesel. The place is really cool inside--Very authentic, old, and inviting.
This place is very promising. Great happy hour from 4-7 M-F, and live music! In Cole! And not Salsa!
I had to leave without having a drink, but I'll be back tomorrow night for their live music.
Colians, let's get out there and support these folks. At least at first glance, they look like a very cool addition to the neighborhood.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Farewell Jerry
It's a pretty regular occurrence to see an ambulance pull up to a certain house on our block. Two of the sons living there are extreme alcoholics, and the daughter has a drug problem. One of them pretty regularly overdoes it, and call in the ambulance. The mother, an elderly woman with her own issues, has needed assistance from time-to-time as well. Since they have no car, they call 911 whenever they have a problem.
So last night I wondered who had overindulged when I saw an ambulance roll up in front of their house yet again. I expected the Detox van to be close behind. It didn't take me long to realize things were more serious this time, as I saw someone getting CPR on the porch. The daughter was hysterical and running up and down the block. I couldn't make out who it was as they were taking away in the ambulance. All I could see was a pair of feet--Skinny legs, white tube socks poking out from denim jeans. Could it be Jerry?
Unfortunately, I just learned that it was, and he died last night. I don't know the causes, but I know he wasn't well for some time and didn't take very good care of himself.
Jerry has been a friend of ours since we first moved to Cole and he shouted across the street as we walked our dogs: "Is they spaded?". He and his family had lived on the block for over 50 years. According to Jerry, his granddad built several homes on the block, including ours. He used to tell me about how he remembered our block in the good days, when it was shady and tree-lined, and when the residents all got along and often had block parties. He had been witness to a lot of Cole's history.
He fought in Vietnam and the French Foreign Legion before becoming a hydrology engineer or something similar. He had a property in sunny, quiet California, a place that would have been a lot better for his health than Cole, yet he stayed out of love for his elderly mother. He shared our love of the Rottweiler breed, of James Brown, and of fresh air. And he was an amazing artist. He often shared poems and pictures he had created, and I was consistently shocked at how the partier across the street was so talented.
He had a drinking problem and hung out with a lot of the old-timer riff-raff on the block, but was a good man. In a way, he was trapped in limbo. He was a throwback to the seedier days of Cole, and experienced that side of things every day with members of his own family. But while he stayed friendly with the old-timers he also embraced changes to the neighborhood as a positive thing. He frequently told us how much he loved us, and that we were good people, even though his sister was convinced we had it in for her and that any time the police showed up it was because we had called them. That didn't bother Jerry. He cared about everyone--old and new--in the neighborhood. And he had come to peace with a lot of the bad things he'd done, as he frequently told me. But he had really cleaned up his act, except for the drinking.
The last few years he's been hobbled, because his drunk brother had thrown him down a flight of stairs and severely broken his ankle in a drunken disagreement. Along with his COPD and his drinking, he had his good days and bad days the last couple years.
I'll never forget how he would go sit on the street corner with the old-timers and drink for hours--He was frequently drunk--But he was courteous to the police officers that often came and cited him for public intoxication. He couldn't change his habit, but he was very realistic about it and the consequences. He also called out other guys on the block when they got too drunk and got into trouble, not allowing them to play the victim card. He's also the only person I ever loaned money to on the block more than once--Because he always paid me back before I had to ask. He was all about personal responsibility. But bottom line, drunk or sober, no matter what was going on, he was a super-friendly man with a huge heart and a great sense of humor.
Jerry loved spicy food--I always shared my garden-grown jalapenos and habaneros and home-made green chili. We'd often chat over our fences about this and that--We didn't have much in common, but you couldn't tell. I remember when my wife bought me a "stingy brim" (fedora) hat, and when Jerry saw me in it, he complimented me on it. The next day he handed me three of his own, really nice ones, from the 60's. Jerry was a great, if unorthodox friend.
I just told Jerry last weekend that I wanted to sit down with him one afternoon with a bottle of his favorite Kentucky Deluxe and document some of the history of the neighborhood he always talked about. I had also always wanted to talk to him about the war, as it was clear he was deeply affected by it. I'm deeply sorry I missed that opportunity.
Some might look at one fewer drunk on the streets as a good thing. I might too, if I didn't know Jerry. But he truly was a bridge between old and new--Between black and white, and young and old. A lot of Cole's history--Good and bad--died last night. I've already caught myself looking for him up the block when I go out and get my morning paper.
We'll miss you Jerry.
So last night I wondered who had overindulged when I saw an ambulance roll up in front of their house yet again. I expected the Detox van to be close behind. It didn't take me long to realize things were more serious this time, as I saw someone getting CPR on the porch. The daughter was hysterical and running up and down the block. I couldn't make out who it was as they were taking away in the ambulance. All I could see was a pair of feet--Skinny legs, white tube socks poking out from denim jeans. Could it be Jerry?
Unfortunately, I just learned that it was, and he died last night. I don't know the causes, but I know he wasn't well for some time and didn't take very good care of himself.
Jerry has been a friend of ours since we first moved to Cole and he shouted across the street as we walked our dogs: "Is they spaded?". He and his family had lived on the block for over 50 years. According to Jerry, his granddad built several homes on the block, including ours. He used to tell me about how he remembered our block in the good days, when it was shady and tree-lined, and when the residents all got along and often had block parties. He had been witness to a lot of Cole's history.
He fought in Vietnam and the French Foreign Legion before becoming a hydrology engineer or something similar. He had a property in sunny, quiet California, a place that would have been a lot better for his health than Cole, yet he stayed out of love for his elderly mother. He shared our love of the Rottweiler breed, of James Brown, and of fresh air. And he was an amazing artist. He often shared poems and pictures he had created, and I was consistently shocked at how the partier across the street was so talented.
He had a drinking problem and hung out with a lot of the old-timer riff-raff on the block, but was a good man. In a way, he was trapped in limbo. He was a throwback to the seedier days of Cole, and experienced that side of things every day with members of his own family. But while he stayed friendly with the old-timers he also embraced changes to the neighborhood as a positive thing. He frequently told us how much he loved us, and that we were good people, even though his sister was convinced we had it in for her and that any time the police showed up it was because we had called them. That didn't bother Jerry. He cared about everyone--old and new--in the neighborhood. And he had come to peace with a lot of the bad things he'd done, as he frequently told me. But he had really cleaned up his act, except for the drinking.
The last few years he's been hobbled, because his drunk brother had thrown him down a flight of stairs and severely broken his ankle in a drunken disagreement. Along with his COPD and his drinking, he had his good days and bad days the last couple years.
I'll never forget how he would go sit on the street corner with the old-timers and drink for hours--He was frequently drunk--But he was courteous to the police officers that often came and cited him for public intoxication. He couldn't change his habit, but he was very realistic about it and the consequences. He also called out other guys on the block when they got too drunk and got into trouble, not allowing them to play the victim card. He's also the only person I ever loaned money to on the block more than once--Because he always paid me back before I had to ask. He was all about personal responsibility. But bottom line, drunk or sober, no matter what was going on, he was a super-friendly man with a huge heart and a great sense of humor.
Jerry loved spicy food--I always shared my garden-grown jalapenos and habaneros and home-made green chili. We'd often chat over our fences about this and that--We didn't have much in common, but you couldn't tell. I remember when my wife bought me a "stingy brim" (fedora) hat, and when Jerry saw me in it, he complimented me on it. The next day he handed me three of his own, really nice ones, from the 60's. Jerry was a great, if unorthodox friend.
I just told Jerry last weekend that I wanted to sit down with him one afternoon with a bottle of his favorite Kentucky Deluxe and document some of the history of the neighborhood he always talked about. I had also always wanted to talk to him about the war, as it was clear he was deeply affected by it. I'm deeply sorry I missed that opportunity.
Some might look at one fewer drunk on the streets as a good thing. I might too, if I didn't know Jerry. But he truly was a bridge between old and new--Between black and white, and young and old. A lot of Cole's history--Good and bad--died last night. I've already caught myself looking for him up the block when I go out and get my morning paper.
We'll miss you Jerry.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Bring Hooters To Cole
So who knew that I’d stir such controversy by simply stating the fact that the overtly gay theme of the new “Swallows Video Lounge” would likely not appeal to a significant percentage of the Cole Neighborhood’s residents?
A commenter was so offended with my commments, that she made it clear she would boycott the Cole Neighborhood Association. Not sure why she'd get such a knee-jerk reaction from one guy stating his opinion. Jeez, folks, what do I have to do to make it clear that I don’t speak for the CNA? Heck, I haven’t been to a single meeting in over a year. Not to mention the fact that I frequently get negative comments on my blog from CNA members. I just voice my opinions here. If you don't like it, no problem, flame away and/or stop reading it. But don't try to make any sort of generalization about a group I don't even belong to.
Now this commenter, a lesbian, practiced the ole’ reverse stereotype by assuming that because I didn’t find a bar that had sexual euphemisms abound about swallowing bodily fluids my cup of tea (or other liquid) that I of course must have wanted a Hooters there instead.
Initially, this bothered me. But the more I thought about it, what would make a clearly racist, sexist, homophobic gun-toting redneck like I me feel more at home in Cole than a Hooters? Heck, I do love me some chicken wings, and I also love me some sexy thrice-divorced aspiring reality TV stars in 70’s running shorts. So, guilty as charged! I’d rather have a Hooters in Cole than Swallows. At least it’s a proven business model that will likely last longer than six months. And if anyone won’t support the local Hooters, they’re clearly heterophobes. How shallow-minded. Then I’d have to boycott the CNA, too.
It got me to thinking—What other establishments might I like to see in the old Tosh’s Hacienda/Kiva Restaurant/Club Dynasty/Blackberries Bar and Grill building? Hmmm… the possibilities are endless:
• First off, as a homophobe, I must be a hard-core bible thumper, so of course I’d like to see a Catholic church there. Nothing would help me fight off those evil homosexuals like a stack of bibles the size of Jenny’s Market. Plus pews offer a lot of pass-out space for the regulars in the neighborhood.
• How about a shooting range? Everyone knows any self-respecting gun toting Republican NRA member would like to have a shooting range in their neighborhood. They could make Wednesdays "gangsters under 12 to shoot free" night (as long as they’ve got their homework done, of course).
• A Nascar video lounge. Boy, nothing gets my blood pumping more than the smell of motor oil and putting on my old number 6 Dale Earnhardt jumpsuit to go watch Daytona 500 re-runs on The Ocho.
• A Bass Pro Shop Outlet. Of course, Cole is a utopia for outdoorsmen. Whether it’s hunting squirrels, fishing at nearby City Park Lake, or bird watching the ghetto pidgeons that crap down the side of St. Martins Plaza, no doubt outdoorsmen like me would like to see our need for blaze orange camouflage and 12 gauge shotgun shells met within staggering range of our houses. It’s such a sketchy drive all the way over to Stapleton after a 24 pack of Natural Light, let me tell you.
• Oh! Monster Trucks! Yes! By golly, that’s a winner. Now although the space in the Kiva building is expansive, I know it may be a stretch to fit an entire monster truck course in there. But I think they could do it. I was at the Pepsi Center for a Thuggets game a few weeks ago and couldn’t even imagine where they put all the dirt and sweet jumps with all those rows of seats in the way. They may have to move the aquarium, but I think it could happen.
• And finally, I think the neighborhood could benefit from a professional wrestling ring. And none of that culturally-sensitive Lucha Libre, either. I’m talking good old, heterosexual white males on steroids wearing red speedos in a choreographed mock battle to the death. Nothing would signal the new, peaceful future of Cole like two 300 pound high school drop-outs beating each other with folding chairs.
So there you have it. There are so many other establishments that the mainstream Cole residents like me would rather have in the old Kiva building than Swallows Video Lounge. Thanks must go out to MSH, the poster that got me thinking about this topic. Without her help, I think I just would have settled for a laid-back, casual, come-as-you-are neighborhood bar and restaurant.
A commenter was so offended with my commments, that she made it clear she would boycott the Cole Neighborhood Association. Not sure why she'd get such a knee-jerk reaction from one guy stating his opinion. Jeez, folks, what do I have to do to make it clear that I don’t speak for the CNA? Heck, I haven’t been to a single meeting in over a year. Not to mention the fact that I frequently get negative comments on my blog from CNA members. I just voice my opinions here. If you don't like it, no problem, flame away and/or stop reading it. But don't try to make any sort of generalization about a group I don't even belong to.
Now this commenter, a lesbian, practiced the ole’ reverse stereotype by assuming that because I didn’t find a bar that had sexual euphemisms abound about swallowing bodily fluids my cup of tea (or other liquid) that I of course must have wanted a Hooters there instead.
It got me to thinking—What other establishments might I like to see in the old Tosh’s Hacienda/Kiva Restaurant/Club Dynasty/Blackberries Bar and Grill building? Hmmm… the possibilities are endless:
• First off, as a homophobe, I must be a hard-core bible thumper, so of course I’d like to see a Catholic church there. Nothing would help me fight off those evil homosexuals like a stack of bibles the size of Jenny’s Market. Plus pews offer a lot of pass-out space for the regulars in the neighborhood.
• How about a shooting range? Everyone knows any self-respecting gun toting Republican NRA member would like to have a shooting range in their neighborhood. They could make Wednesdays "gangsters under 12 to shoot free" night (as long as they’ve got their homework done, of course).
• A Nascar video lounge. Boy, nothing gets my blood pumping more than the smell of motor oil and putting on my old number 6 Dale Earnhardt jumpsuit to go watch Daytona 500 re-runs on The Ocho.
• A Bass Pro Shop Outlet. Of course, Cole is a utopia for outdoorsmen. Whether it’s hunting squirrels, fishing at nearby City Park Lake, or bird watching the ghetto pidgeons that crap down the side of St. Martins Plaza, no doubt outdoorsmen like me would like to see our need for blaze orange camouflage and 12 gauge shotgun shells met within staggering range of our houses. It’s such a sketchy drive all the way over to Stapleton after a 24 pack of Natural Light, let me tell you.
• Oh! Monster Trucks! Yes! By golly, that’s a winner. Now although the space in the Kiva building is expansive, I know it may be a stretch to fit an entire monster truck course in there. But I think they could do it. I was at the Pepsi Center for a Thuggets game a few weeks ago and couldn’t even imagine where they put all the dirt and sweet jumps with all those rows of seats in the way. They may have to move the aquarium, but I think it could happen.
• And finally, I think the neighborhood could benefit from a professional wrestling ring. And none of that culturally-sensitive Lucha Libre, either. I’m talking good old, heterosexual white males on steroids wearing red speedos in a choreographed mock battle to the death. Nothing would signal the new, peaceful future of Cole like two 300 pound high school drop-outs beating each other with folding chairs.
So there you have it. There are so many other establishments that the mainstream Cole residents like me would rather have in the old Kiva building than Swallows Video Lounge. Thanks must go out to MSH, the poster that got me thinking about this topic. Without her help, I think I just would have settled for a laid-back, casual, come-as-you-are neighborhood bar and restaurant.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Cole Neighborhood Plan Meeting--Tomorrow, Thursday, March 11th at EXDO
Have an opinion about what Cole's neighborhood plan should look like? Just want to be in the loop? Don't miss this meeting tomorrow night at EXDO.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello, my name is Courtland Hyser, and I’m the City of Denver’s project manager for a new small area plan called the Northeast Downtown Neighborhoods Plan. You are receiving this e-mail because you have either requested to be on the mailing list, or because you were already on the mailing list for one or more of the following recent planning efforts: the Downtown Area Plan, the Arapahoe Square Blight Study, the Central Corridor Extension Environmental Evaluation, or the 38th & Blake Station Area Plan.
The first public meeting for the Northeast Downtown Neighborhoods Plan will be held on Thursday, March 11th at the EXDO Event Center, 1399 35th St., from 6:00-8:00 p.m. The focus of this first meeting will be on identifying challenges, opportunities, and existing conditions within the study area. There is a map of the study area on the attached meeting flier. You can also learn more about the plan by visiting the project’s website at www.denvergov.org/northeastdowntown. If you have additional questions, you can reach me at courtland.hyser@denvergov.org or 720-865-2924.
Courtland Hyser, AICP
Senior City PlannerDenver Community Planning and Development201 West Colfax Ave, Dept 205Denver, CO 80202Phone: (720) 865-2924Website: www.denvergov.org/planning
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello, my name is Courtland Hyser, and I’m the City of Denver’s project manager for a new small area plan called the Northeast Downtown Neighborhoods Plan. You are receiving this e-mail because you have either requested to be on the mailing list, or because you were already on the mailing list for one or more of the following recent planning efforts: the Downtown Area Plan, the Arapahoe Square Blight Study, the Central Corridor Extension Environmental Evaluation, or the 38th & Blake Station Area Plan.
The first public meeting for the Northeast Downtown Neighborhoods Plan will be held on Thursday, March 11th at the EXDO Event Center, 1399 35th St., from 6:00-8:00 p.m. The focus of this first meeting will be on identifying challenges, opportunities, and existing conditions within the study area. There is a map of the study area on the attached meeting flier. You can also learn more about the plan by visiting the project’s website at www.denvergov.org/northeastdowntown. If you have additional questions, you can reach me at courtland.hyser@denvergov.org or 720-865-2924.
Courtland Hyser, AICP
Senior City PlannerDenver Community Planning and Development201 West Colfax Ave, Dept 205Denver, CO 80202Phone: (720) 865-2924Website: www.denvergov.org/planning
Cole Chronicles
Cole-ites: (Colians? Hmm....)
If you haven't checked out the Cole Chronicles, a much better-written and more constructive blog about the neighborhood, I highly recommend you check it out.
The author just posted a very funny (and insightful) post about progress in the neighborhood:
http://denver.yourhub.com/Denver/Blogs/Your-Voice/Blog~743280.aspx
As always, thanks for reading, and for caring about our little 'hood.
If you haven't checked out the Cole Chronicles, a much better-written and more constructive blog about the neighborhood, I highly recommend you check it out.
The author just posted a very funny (and insightful) post about progress in the neighborhood:
http://denver.yourhub.com/Denver/Blogs/Your-Voice/Blog~743280.aspx
As always, thanks for reading, and for caring about our little 'hood.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Stolen - Schwinn Beach Cruisers - His and Hers - Reward - $100 (Denver)
Keep your eyes out for a couple of drunks swerving down the street on a matching pair of turquoise and yellow Schwinn Beach Cruisers. More info here:
http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/1621309041.html
http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/1621309041.html
Friday, February 26, 2010
How do more people in this neighborhood not get hit by cars?
It should be happening every single day the way people act over here.
Between the old-timer drunks that see you coming and dare you to hit them by walking right out in front of you, to the kids that carelessly just run into the street, it's like a game of Frogger around here most days.
Just today, I almost hit some kid as he ran right out in front of my bike as I rode by his house on Franklin. If I hadn't been paying attention, it would have been ugly for both of us. I shouted to the kid "You've gotta be careful, or you're going to get hit, buddy!". I then heard a voice from a front porch on the east side of the road a few houses up: "No he won't, I'm watching him from over here." I was flabbergasted. "Did you see me almost run over your boy on my bike?"
Her response? "F*ck you!"
No doubt the kid has a bright future in fast food (or jail) with parenting like that. (Assuming he doesn't get flattened by an El Camino before he turns 14.)
Between the old-timer drunks that see you coming and dare you to hit them by walking right out in front of you, to the kids that carelessly just run into the street, it's like a game of Frogger around here most days.
Just today, I almost hit some kid as he ran right out in front of my bike as I rode by his house on Franklin. If I hadn't been paying attention, it would have been ugly for both of us. I shouted to the kid "You've gotta be careful, or you're going to get hit, buddy!". I then heard a voice from a front porch on the east side of the road a few houses up: "No he won't, I'm watching him from over here." I was flabbergasted. "Did you see me almost run over your boy on my bike?"
Her response? "F*ck you!"
No doubt the kid has a bright future in fast food (or jail) with parenting like that. (Assuming he doesn't get flattened by an El Camino before he turns 14.)
Today's photo tour of Denver's Cole Neighborhood
Know how ships have waterlines? Buildings in the barrio have graffiti lines. Lines above which the little punk kids cannot reach; below where you paint over graffiti with whatever closeout paint you can find at Home Depot.
More interesting is this highly-sophisticated data analysis showing historical change in Cole's graffiti line. As you'll see it's been steadily rising since the turn of the century. Clearly yet another of the world's problems we can blame on global warming. Note that there in fact was no graffiti line in cole until the 1930's. That's because the neighborhood kids back then were working 20 hour days in the smelters, and didn't have enough energy left over after their shifts to devote to tomfoolery. The remarkable growth in the height of the graffiti line really took hold after 1950 when the Burger King went in and kids started growing taller.
Kids in Cole have it so much easier today. They clearly have nothing but time on their hands. Time to tag garages, break into houses, and stand aimlessly in front of the Golden Gate Market. In fact, the punk graffiti writers even have their own vending machine center, to keep them properly hydrated during their covert activities, conveniently located on Bruce Randolph near Williams. Have you seen it? I can see the little gang bangers now: After spray-painting my back alley, sitting down over an icey cold Pimp Juice, and one of 'em says: "Homies, shit just don't git any better than this."
On an unrelated note, Cole is also where you see the absolute newest, hottest design trends (no secret here). Here's the latest style making its way over from Paris, the "Doorgate". or the "Porte de Porte" as those snobby French call it. And you thought this guy just re-purposed a crappy old front door as a gate to his serene backyard oasis, didn't you? Wrong! Get yours now before all your neighbors do, and the price triples.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
American Bulldog Pup Missing in Whittier/Cole
Was at the dogpark today and was approached by a guy driving around looking for his lost dog. No, not a Pitt. He's missing a gray-and-white American Bulldog pup. I *think* he said his address was 2848 Humboldt? If this guy is reading and I've got it wrong (I likely might) please post a comment. Otherwise, if you find this pup I would go to 2800 Humboldt and see if anyone knows a bigger white bald guy. Or post a notice at the dog park. Thanks.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Missing "Pitt" Bull
Now before I get started on this topic, let me say that I think Pits can be wonderful dogs, and I'm sad when I hear that anyone has lost their dog. So if it's your dog, and you are a responsible owner and love your dog as much as I love mine, I certainly hope you find it.
But I find it potentially unwise to advertise that you lost an illegal breed dog at a Denver city-funded facility. Not worthy of the Darwin Awards but potentially could result in the reduction of the Pit Bull gene pool by at least one dog, if the city finds the dog first.
But then again, it actually was a "Pitt Bull" (with two "T's"). Hmmm, what's a Pitt Bull? A breed from Pittsburgh? Or is this some weak attempt to hide the dog's real pedigree? I can picture the breed description now.
"Originally bred to guard steel mills, the Pittsburgh Bull Terrier has been bred over time to be a loyal family dog with an affection for Primanti Brothers Sandwiches and Heinz Ketchup. Common health issues include joint problems and heart attacks due to a diet primarily based on Primanti Brothers Sandwiches."
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Needs No Words
My neighbor sent me a link to this today:
(For those of you that don't know, this is from a funny article by Eli Kearney from way back in 2006).
Sh*t my wife says
I realized that my wife says "Hmmm.... What do we have going on over here?" in only two very specific (and different)instances since we moved into Cole Neighborhood.
One, when she sees something suspicious.
Two, when she sees another house being fixed up.
And I have to admit she's been using it in the second context much more frequently as of late.
One, when she sees something suspicious.
Two, when she sees another house being fixed up.
And I have to admit she's been using it in the second context much more frequently as of late.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Local Business Spotlight: Palma Cigar Company
Readers of this marvelous online publication know that I am a big fan of locally-owned businesses. Businesses started by an entrepreneur that believed they had something unique to offer the marketplace--And apparently do, since their businesses are viable.
One of the key benefits of living in the "vibrant" Cole Neighborhood (They were calling it sketchy but they couldn't sell any homes there) is that it so close to downtown Denver. It's literally a quick bike ride away, and of course, there are all kinds of cool restaurants, bars, and businesses down there.
Turns out the proprietor of Palma Cigar Company, Clay Carlton, is an expert barber and provides some of the best haircuts you'll find in downtown Denver. And it turns out that he just doesn't sell hand-rolled cigars, he actually makes 'em himself! Now whether you like cigars or not, I think you'd agree that it's pretty darned cool that this guy went to the trouble of training under a Cuban master roller to learn his trade. That's like a karate student training under Bruce Lee. Pretty cool stuff. Clay actually goes down to the Dominican Republic every few weeks to source his high-quality tobaccos for import. So just like the big name cigars, he controls his product from selecting the tobaccos, to blending them, and hand-rolling them.
Palma Cigar has a huge walk-in humidor that like most humidors, smells like heaven. (Why is it that cigars smell so good before you light 'em, but smell so bad after you do?). Palma Cigar has five or six different blends, each very smooth and tasty. Palma Cigars also carries some other big-name brands to complement Clay's own stogies. The shop also has a decent selection of humidors (Lamborghini humidors!), cigar cutters, cigar lighters, and other accoutrements. He'll even do custom cigars for events, weddings, bachelor parties, you name it.
But that's not all. In addition to handmade cigars and expert haircuts, Palma Cigar now has a wine and cigar bar on location. So those of you cigar smokers that have lamented the coming of the smoking ban, you have one place where you can enjoy your cigar with a high-quality Colorado-made wine--Palma Cigar Company.
The final reason why I wanted to write about Clay and Palma Cigar is that he's also the proprietor of Cigars To The Troops, a non-profit that sends high quality cigars to our deserving troops overseas. Oh, and he's just an interesting guy to talk to, as well.
So if you like cigars, you've got to give Palma Cigar's line a try. If you need a haircut in Denver, look Clay up. And if you don't like cigars, or don't have any hair, I encourage you to make the day of one of our awesome military men and women by making a donation to Cigars To The Troops.
Palma Cigar is open Tuesday through Sunday right now. Check it out, and tell Clay how you learned about him.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Changes coming in Cole?
Walking the dogs today, I was surprised to see two upcoming changes in businesses in the area:
First, The Econo Mart is going out of business, and their spot in the Down-and-Out Super building is up for lease. I guess with the recession and all used Salsa CD's and black-light prints of Jesus Christ and Tupac aren't selling like they used to. What do you all think, has Cole transformed enough yet to attract a quality business to the neighborhood, like a bank branch, a Subway, or better yet, a coffee house? Or will yet another Latino thrift store go back in?
Just as interesting was when I walked by the old Tosh's Hacienda/Kiva//Blackberries Lounge building, now being used by Exdo as an annex to their events center. The sign on the North side of the building says "Swallows Video Lounge", whatever that is. It appears it's just using the southwest corner of the building perhaps? Anyone have any idea on this one? I can't find any website or info for this business online.
First, The Econo Mart is going out of business, and their spot in the Down-and-Out Super building is up for lease. I guess with the recession and all used Salsa CD's and black-light prints of Jesus Christ and Tupac aren't selling like they used to. What do you all think, has Cole transformed enough yet to attract a quality business to the neighborhood, like a bank branch, a Subway, or better yet, a coffee house? Or will yet another Latino thrift store go back in?
Just as interesting was when I walked by the old Tosh's Hacienda/Kiva//Blackberries Lounge building, now being used by Exdo as an annex to their events center. The sign on the North side of the building says "Swallows Video Lounge", whatever that is. It appears it's just using the southwest corner of the building perhaps? Anyone have any idea on this one? I can't find any website or info for this business online.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Pics From A Recent Dog Walk
Boy, you pretty much can't go for a walk in Cole without seeing something funny. I'm going to try to share more of these sights through this blog in the days to come. Here are a couple recent pics:
You usually get more than you bargained for when you buy a home in Cole. Here, you not only get the house, but a stylish new belt.
Ahh, the Happy Tagger. Sharing peace, goodwill, and positivity by vandalizing private property all over Cole.
You usually get more than you bargained for when you buy a home in Cole. Here, you not only get the house, but a stylish new belt.
Ahh, the Happy Tagger. Sharing peace, goodwill, and positivity by vandalizing private property all over Cole.
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